Being a Good Husband 101: Paul’s Love-triangle of GRACE

Ephesians 5:21-28

It is Christ’s empowering GRACE that holds a MARRIAGE together… the result… is a MARRIAGE that REFLECTS the GLORY of GOD.

Would it surprise you that unlike the popularised unhealthy love-triangles we see in the media, Paul teaches that each marriage should have a healthy, biblical love triangle with GRACE as its foundation.

In Ephesians 5:22 (and following) Paul is teaching how husbands and wives should relate to each other. Jesus Christ is supposed to be the head of every marriage. And it’s Jesus Christ’s GRACE that enables husbands and wives to love each other.

So what are men told to do? Well it almost sounds easy… Paul says LOVE YOUR WIVES. But how does our love as a 21st century men compare to the perfect example of love that’s found in Jesus? Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… (Eph 5:25)

Do you ever imagine your wife being attacked and you boldly standing up for her. Or a car veers off the road and you push her out of the way to be crushed yourself? I do. But how often do we get the chance to love our wives like that? If taking a bullet for our wife isn’t what Paul’s on about, then what does he mean by lay your life down for your wife?

One of the biggest misconceptions that men take into marriage is that it’s the man’s job to change his wife. And it’s simply not true. Blokes have an in-built desire to control everything.  Paul teaches that men must love their wives to the point of giving themselves up. AND THAT’S ALL. Love your wife as you love yourself Paul says. Paul doesn’t say, Love your wife while she is perfectly submitting everything to you… but he simply says Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”

So practically, how are we supposed to love our wives? Well it all comes back to Paul’s love triangle of GRACE. Men, you need to first learn to be loved by Christ. Experience His gracious love for you. Then and ONLY THEN can you show that love to your wives. As husbands we need to reflect on Christ’s love for us, and deflect that love toward our wives.

We need to take a vertical experience with God, and shoot that out as a horizontal experience with our wives. Men need to submit to Christ, and learn how to rely on his GRACE and MERCY. Then once you experience that gracious love of Christ, you can reflect it to your wives.

We can find the perfect model for love and submission in Jesus Christ. And that model is best displayed His relationship to the church. Christ is supposed to be the head of the marriage union. I urge you all, whether married, soon to be married, or hoping to one day be married. Keep the word of God at the center of your life, and continually submit yourselves to the Lord, and love the Lord because He is the head of the church, and your marriage. It is Christ’s empowering GRACE that holds a MARRIAGE together… and the result?… the result is a MARRIAGE that REFLECTS the GLORY of GOD.

7 thoughts on “Being a Good Husband 101: Paul’s Love-triangle of GRACE

  1. findingtheway777 says:

    What you said was great but you say “So practically”. I don’t read any practical example. Examples that men can do in their daily life to practically show their wives this love. Like work less and spend more time with them, take them for a picnic, go for a walk on a trail in the woods, spend the afternoon just sitting in the backyard talking or not talking (but together), helping her get housecleaning done around the house to lighten her burden, take the kids out while she has some quiet time to herself. Just a few examples of practical ways a husband can show his wife his love for her. I do agree with much of what you said in your post.

    1. Thanks Gail, and your spot on. I totally agree with you. I could have included some examples of how one might act out that love. I think my emphasis isn’t on how that love presents itself (that would be different for every couple) but on where that love stems from. If those actions are an extension of Christ’s love in the husbands life then he is acting out a very pure love for his wife. ~ Stay tuned I’ll be publishing the wife’s love triangle tomorrow 🙂 thanks again

      1. findingtheway777 says:

        Thats why I agree with what you have said in your post. But after being married for almost 24 years husbands can have much love in their hearts for their wife but women have so much to cope with in their busy lives that how love presents itself, is many reason, I feel, that marriages fail, in the lack of this practical side. I feel (from a women view point) that men can lovely be reminded of this. Blessings

  2. Cool post Josh. Another version of the love triangle is one that James told me about the day we started dating. It’s an equilateral triangle with Jesus at the top point and the husband and wife at the bottom two… the closer each one gets to Jesus the closer they get to each other 🙂

    Looking forward to reading tomorrow’s post!

    1. hey Lauren. that’s a really good analogy. I like it, and will use it in the future. Us blokes are really lucky to be surrounded by some great biblical women 🙂 thanks for commenting !

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