[Insert your deepest darkest thought here]

How would you feel if your deepest and darkest thoughts were transparently projected over YouTube. What would you do if your secrets were shown to your friends, family… to the world.

[Insert your deepest darkest thought here].

The bible shows that we all have inappropriate desires. You most definitely have desires and secrets that you try to hide from the world. What are your desires? What things have you done that you would do anything to keep secret?

Ten years ago, I felt helpless to control my desires. My need for self-gratification left me in a state of dis-repair. No matter how hard I tried too improve, I found myself in a downward spiral. Every time I thought I’d found a solution to my lack of satisfaction, I would find another way of hurting myself, or someone around me. In the time that I spent with a complete disregard for God’s purpose for my life, I collected physical, spiritual and emotional burdens which are still with me in today’s walk. Like me I’m sure there’s tonnes of solid Christians who would agree that the addictions, behaviours, and attitudes of their youth still weigh heavily upon them today.

So whether you are like me and are still dealing with the decisions you made ten years ago, or you are in the midst of making decisions that you just know aren’t right, now is the time to grasp to some truths that can potentially liberate you from the unhealthy desires of your heart.

Maybe it’s something that you haven’t done, but something that has been done to you. What is it that you couldn’t tell anyone because of shame, guilt or fear? Who hurt you so bad, that you feel guilty because of it?

Mike Wilkerson, author of Redemption, writes this:

“it’s not our raw experiences that determine our lives but the meaning we make of them – the stories we tell an the stories we believe. Out of those stories we live our lives”.

Mike encourages his readers to look at abuse, addictions and other assorted troubles through the lens of scripture.  The problem isn’t that God has abandoned us in our pain, but that sometimes we refuse to face it without him.

It’s important to know that God hasn’t just rescued us from our sin, but also our fear, our doubt and our guilt.

I’m not writing to give you the answers, but just to point lost people to the bible. It does have the answers.
A good place to start is to realise that despite how you feel, God loves and cares for you.

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

5 thoughts on “[Insert your deepest darkest thought here]

  1. anonymous says:

    hey Josh I read your latest blog . It made me think of my life and all I have done wrong but to know Jesus loves me no matter what is something I draw on a lot these days. I can’t change the past but I can learn from it. And it is def easier to talk about where I have been and what I have done and I want to be able to use that to help others. Sure I am still not perfect but i have learned a lot. In your blogs I get a sense that u have been to bad places in your life b4 becoming a Christian but that u r now very grounded. It’s def encouraging and helps me knowing other ppl have go through their struggles and learned from their mistakes.

    1. Hey mate,
      I appreciate your desire for anonymity. Since meeting you, you have come a long way. When you become comfortable sharing your story, I have no doubt that it will impact lives. Keep growing in Christ, being transformed into His likeness daily. Let the fruits of the Spirit overcome your life and ALWAYS, ALWAYS rely on Jesus for forgiveness.

      I am lucky to have seen you change, and Hailey and I are praying that you will continue to change in a way that pleases our Lord.
      Your Brother in Christ.

      1. anonymous says:

        yep it’s def been a big change. And it was Hailey who made me talk to certain ppl that really got things moving so I owe a lot to her (and to you) 🙂

  2. Grace says:

    Your blog really spoke a lot to me. II can’t bear to face God im kinda angry really and I don’t even know why or if he would care about mr People say the hard things makes you stronger but I feel more weak. I’m ashamed to say as a teen i was a lot more faithful but the older I get the harder and more complicated life gets. I want to love and have a relationship but how do you get passed when u feel like Gods let u down?

    1. Hi Grace, Thanks heaps for your reply. People are right, hard things do make you stronger, but only after you recover. While we are downtrodden, vulnerable and broken we feel weak. It’s not until we recover that we can feel strength, uplifted and put together. If you have a bible, I’d encourage you to read Luke 15:11-32. It’s the famous story of a son who walks away from his relationship with his father. It finishes by showing that all along his father was CRAVING A RELATIONSHIP with his son. This is a metaphor for humans and God. God is CRAVING A RELATIONSHIP with all His children. As I said in the blog, God’s opinion of you isn’t based on what you have done, or what other people have done to you. God loves all His children unconditionally. God wants you to lean on Him while you are struggling. He promises to give you strength and perseverance to get through the hard times. It all starts with you talking to God. Speak to God about your friendships, work, children, husband, parents, siblings and most of all YOURSELF. I will be praying for you. God Bless.

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